Being with my son fills my heart with love, awe and wonder. He is a bright light in my life, and inspires me to grow. He brings me into the present moment, allowing me to just be me, and loving me unconditionally. It is not always easy to be present to his needs. In fact, motherhood has been one of the most challenging experiences of my life, knowing that I am responsible for the wellbeing of another human being. I worry, and want to protect him from the pain and hardships in life. As I come to the end of my masters, I wonder where my little baby went. He was 2 when I started this program, he is now 4, and tells me not to call him a baby anymore. He loves dinosaurs and wants to be a paleontologist when he grows up. As a parent, I ask myself - what do I need to do to attune to his needs and be present in this moment? Knowing that he will only be little in my arms for so long, I want to be present to motherhood - with all of its feelings. This early morning we had a wonderful connection, I held him in bed, looking out at the cloudy sky and sang the sunshine song. I felt attune to his warmth, his breath, his soft skin and felt the deep bond that we share as mother and son.
I like the tune of this nursery rhyme, and changed the words slightly to:
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You'll always know dear
How much I love
Because I'll honour you each and every day
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